A miserable figure
(2 minutes reading time)
I was at a gig last night with one of my good friends. As we were chatting I spotted this older, chubbier guy on his own reading a long text on Bumble. I pointed that out to her, noting that long txts are never a good thing.
She agreed. It’s usually bad news or during an argument. Once Pharcyde finished their set the heavens opened. We were among the few with the foresight to bring waterproofs and umbrellas. It was a bit miserable while waiting for the thunder storm to pass, as it wasn’t safe for the performers to be on stage with lightning in the air.
And I saw that man again. Soaked to the bone. Alone. A face full of misery. Sadness shooting from beady eyes that were glazed with rain washed glasses. His black clothes darkened by patches of his body being clung to by the soaking. His expression was a pure sulk. Like, he’s hating it.
And it triggered me.
I saw a possibility. I saw an existence that could be mine.
I’d bought my ticket to go to that show by myself. I didn’t mind the idea much as it’s only a 5 minute walk from my home. It was from chatting with my friend that I managed to have a lovely companion for the evening, when I mentioned the week before that I was going and asked if she’d maybe be interested. Otherwise, I might have been like him. On my phone. On my own.
I said this to my friend. She said “No you’re not him. You have friends. And I think you’d be able to enjoy being here whether you’re in a relationship or not”. And she has a point. I am not him. I am happy and pretty content in my own company. My friends are great! Hard work sometimes, because they’re so disparate and have their own core groups. But when I’m with them they’re really great. When I hear from them it’s lovely.
The rest of the evening was a lot of fun. De La Soul brought on Talib Kwali who I never thought I’d get to see. And The Roots were phenomenal. I didn’t see that guy again.
I said perhaps he’s a fascist misogynist who doesn’t deserve happiness and I’m ok with him having his lot. That sounds unkind but it helped me disassociate myself from him. And if it’s true, he does. Anyway I felt grateful. I am grateful.
Thank you my friends.