You suck, imposter syndrome!
(2 minutes reading time)
No matter how often people tell me I’m great at whatever, I don’t believe it deep inside. It’s only if I tell myself that, repeatedly, I sometimes start to be convinced maybe I don’t suck.
I started to think of using some mental techniques when I went to a talk on imposter syndrome a few years back by a journalist. They’d written about it a little bit, then got known “as an expert on imposter syndrome”. Which they thought was ironic as they definitely weren’t a psychologist, and only touched on the subject lightly in their writing.
But they made some good points - her experiences were valid and it was ok for her to share! She came up with a great technique that I still try to follow, and impart:
You cannot use as a measure of your success things that are beyond your control.
Their key example was getting a job:
Writing your CV, making it as best you can and then sending it off is your success. Whether you get picked for an interview, or the job, those are not things that you failed at. They just didn’t pick you against a bunch of other people, and you had no control over that.
This caused a shift in my thinking and I even wrote a (very personal and heartfelt) presentation on it which I’ve never shared before today. When I presented it, a few years ago, at the time I was immensely nerve wracked. But afterwards I felt liberated. To name it, and own it.
There’s a couple of other things too: I know what I’m bad at, but I also know what I’m better at than those things. When people tell me I’m great, it’s usually because of the way I demonstrate that. And leads me to believe I don’t suck as much as I think I do in my head.
I don’t need to think “I’m not as good as them. I’m as good as me”
Hopefully this has helped to change your mind too.